splinter.

The woman I love married a man.

And the man I love is married to the sea.

And I am left poring over letters.

And I am married to no one.

wanting.

I wish you would be who I really want you to be.
Someone who would want me like I want you.
Because I want you so badly it hurts.

But what I really want
is to not want you
at all.

i'm going to laugh in the face of the next person who tells me they love me.

I don't want to be loved.
I would simply like to be... wanted.
I want someone to say to me,
"I sure would like to wake up next to you in the morning."

Love seems to have been abstracted into a word
and perhaps a vague feeling.

Love is no longer an action.
It doesn't seem to require anything out of the lover.

I feel like "love" has become almost completely meaningless.
So I'm giving up on it.

Next time you start to have warm, fuzzy feelings for me,
please don't tell me.

Instead could you maybe just...
do something nice for me?

What if you couldn't be with the person you loved?
Even if they loved you too?
Even though there was nothing holding you back?
Nothing except...
"Oh I love you very much, but I don't have time for you."

"I love you very much but I have more important things to deal with than you right now."

Would you be as miserable as I am right now?

Or is there something wrong with me?

getting dumped.

What a fun and fantastic way to start off a new year.

Dear Life,

Please slow down.

Love,
Caro

shihō.

(knocks on head)

This is empty.
You know...
you hit it with a mallet
and it splatters everywhere
and something comes along and eats it
and it becomes something else entirely...

Can you be unenlightened?

Because I felt like everything was beginning to make more sense tonight.
And then suddenly life kicked in and now it doesn't anymore.