Dear Life,

Please slow down.

Love,
Caro

shihō.

(knocks on head)

This is empty.
You know...
you hit it with a mallet
and it splatters everywhere
and something comes along and eats it
and it becomes something else entirely...

Can you be unenlightened?

Because I felt like everything was beginning to make more sense tonight.
And then suddenly life kicked in and now it doesn't anymore.

Sorry.

I don't know why I'm
acting like this.
I just thought things
would suddenly get
easier.
And they didn't.

distance.

How long could I
endure this?

The reduction of
my love
to photographs,
words on a page.

A fuzzy phone call
once a week.

Could I learn
to be whole again,
and end my craving
for the unattainable?

To free my mind
of its aching.

Can I release myself
from this anchor,
pulling me into
deeper waters?

Could I love you
without expectations?

fold.

Talking of "right speech"
made me never want to speak again,
because I fear
I have nothing important to say.

zen.

What I should be thinking about:
Breathing.

What I am actually thinking about:
"UH AM I SUPPOSED TO BE BOWING NOW?"

i take that back.

No one is free
until they understand and accept
the impermanence of all existence.

liberation.

No one is free,
until they've lost everything.

I'm a tough little seed
that can't be cracked.
Rolling along
afraid to put down roots
or perhaps unable
to break through
my own hard shell.

irreverse.

God, don't I wish
I had a clean slate?
Don't I wish I could start
from scratch
with you?
No irrational fears
or insecurities.
Simply you and I
and all the possibilities
stretched out before us.

But I am damaged goods
(I believe you are as well)
and we have lived,
as humans do,
and accumulated all this
extra weight.
And we've been kicked around
and done the kicking,
and scuffed our shoes,
and smudged our faces,
and knocked out more than a couple teeth.

Yet, if we are to
face this life together
shouldn't I,
knowing the treachery of the journey,
be more forgiving?
And looking into your eyes
and seeing love,
should I not accept
all that you are?

And in loving the essence,
overlook the extraneous?